Be a good person.

I reminded myself today to just be a good person.

Be a good person.

It's an interesting thing to ask of myself.  Regardless of what happens in life; be a good person.  Regardless of how shitty you feel, you can take solace in the fact that you are, you're pretty sure, a good person.  But for it to be meaningful to be a good person, in mind as opposed to simply actions, doesn't that mean you have to think you'll be judged on it at some point?  I'm not entirely sure it matters.  The universe and I have an understanding, but I'm not particularly sure the universe cares.  So why the hell do I care?

I guess it's all just a matter of perception.  Of all the people doing the perceiving.  Be a good person and you'll be rewarded.  But will you?  In what way?  Subtly, the universe is going to conspire to make good things happen to you?  Is this karma?  I'd like to think that's something worth believing in, but my faith is feeling a bit hazy right now.

So... I'm supposed to be a good person.  I'm supposed to try, even if nothing notices or even knows.  I guess so.  I'm not even really sure what I would do if I didn't try.  I guess I'd just be an asshole.  That doesn't seem very rewarding.

I sat around and read Knife of Dreams today from around 11:00 AM until 5:30 PM.  I did some laundry in between.  At 5:30 or so, I left the house to go to this Hansel and Gretel Re: Imagined thing down at MassArt.  It was at 7:00 PM.  I met Julia at Dado around 6:30 (I got there a bit early, and sat and had some coffee).  We took the Red and Green (E) lines to Longwood Medical.  We wandered a bit to try to find the performance.  We accidentally bought tickets to some Night Music performance, and then got our money back.  We went to the thing, and found Jason and Katherine there, along with one of Jason's co-workers (also a Jason).  We hung out for a bit.  Jason and Kat departed, Julia's friend Alex showed up.  Eric showed up.  We hung around till the end, when the performance converted to a dance party.  Eric stayed for a bit; Julia, Alex and I got pizza and some beer.  Then I took the T home.

Now I'm here, after a long walk home in the cold.  I walked from Harvard to Porter on a whim, and listened to Digital Ash in a Digital Urn on the way.  At least I'm getting better at whims.  I think they're wonderful things.

It has been, ultimately, a pretty empty day.  Some days, I despise being a ghost.  Be a good person.