Worry about your time once you have time to worry about your time

Had dinner with Annalisa and Daniel tonight.

That's a pretty odd way to start a post, as I think you two are the only ones who actually read this thing.

Everything you said tonight gave me a lot to think about.  After I got home, I talked to my brother as well, and his suggestion was just taking some time off.  Maybe a month.  Something like that.  Just... not doing anything for a while.

I'm feeling a bit rudderless at the moment.  I'm not really sure what I want to do, or maybe I've been doing it all so long I don't really know what I actually care about.  Maybe I just need to take an extended trip or something and not think about all this for a while.

I feel like trying to go back to class this year is rushing it.  I don't know that I want to be tied down to weekly classes and lessons for the next nine months right now.

I want to go sit in the MFA and think.  I want to get out of the country and think.  I want to take a road trip and think.

My brother repeated for me something that a friend of his told him a few years ago, which is that you should worry about what to do with all  your free time once you have the free time to worry about it.  Don't try figuring out what to do with your time before you actually have it - use the time itself to figure it out.

When my head is all full of programming and things-I-want-to-do, how am I supposed to know what it is I really ought to be doing?  I feel sorta apathetic about everything.

I dunno.  Not working is feeling like a decent option at the moment, at least until I know what I want to go back to.