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Thursday, September 16, 2010

All it's cracked up to be

So I'm starting to get pretty committed to the idea of not working for a while post-Allurent.  Or, at least, not working more than a few days a week.  It's just time; I'm a little scared and a lot excited.

The past few years I've been learning - or trying to learn - all this stuff about music, and I feel like I've hardly had a proper moment to really get it right.  The part that kills me is that I can tell that when I do spend time with it, I learn things quite fast.  Like... leaps and bounds faster than the rest of the time.  But I just don't get to it, or I'm too tired, or whatever.  That really sucks.

Will this change with more free time?  I hope so.  I'm kinda under the assumption that I've been putting a lot of my mental capacity into my job.  It certainly seems plausible - I spend my most productive waking hours sitting in that office every day.  What if I had those hours to myself?  That's what I need to find out.

So I have no idea what'll happen when I'm suddenly not working.  Will I last, or I will I drive myself insane not having a place to go every day?  Will I keep it up for three months and then decide that I've had enough, and go back and get a job?  Will I last six months?  Will I last a year?  I will be eating through my savings by doing this.  If I go six months and then contract for six months, I think that is a sustainable model.

Maybe a few months is all I need.  I have no idea!  But I'm going to fucking find out, bitches!

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