Had a lovely day today to round out 2010.
I spent a few hours in Dado reading a fantasy novel (Belgarath the Sorcerer), and then followed it up with a really wonderful, productive hour or two writing lyrics. Not just poems, but composing words that feel more like lyrics and less like the stream of my consciousness floating by.
I'm starting to figure out how to write music, and I'm also figuring out what I want my music to sound like. I'm figuring out what I want to share. This sort of progress is how I want to remember this year - as the year, more than any other thus far, when I really started figuring my life out.
I successfully left full time software development, at least temporarily, a few months back. Doing that - which I have yet to seriously regret for a second - has been very helpful, and has given me the space to really think about what I want and what I care about. I've learned a lot about myself and being me. About what makes me tick, about what my faults are. I'm glad to have a greater understanding of my idiosyncracies, and I'm glad to know they're there.
I'm starting to understand, really, what I want to convey to the world. To shape it into something I can present to you with love, hope, and nary a shred of embarrassment.
I'm learning to have real confidence in what I bring to the table when I need to interact with others (and you thought I thought highly of myself before), and I'm learning to know when to step aside.
In past years around this season, I've often felt like the year went by and nothing really changed. Not this year.
I don't know where I'll be this time next year. I can't even begin to take a guess. All that lack of determinism is scary, but also incredibly exciting. I know that it'll never really be as different as I might guess, and that it'll also be foreign in completely unpredictable ways.
So cheers, Future Us. I think we're all looking forward to meeting you. Happy New Year!
1 comment:
"To infinity ... and beyond!"
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